TOOLED UP BABOON...

If you fancy a walk on the really wild side, why not head over to Knowsley Safari Park where you can watch the magnificent elephants and rhinoceros then on to the big cats and before having a live-action recreation of Planet Of The Apes with armed baboons acording to Russia Today.

RT.com has tweeted that "An uprising of baboons armed with knives and chainsaws is underway at Knowsley Safari Park in Merseyside. Keepers at the park suspect visitors may have been handing out weapons to the primates for a laugh."

I love the 'for a laugh' comment. Imagine a load of stoned ketwigs bouncing into the Safari Park with a sack full of weapons to dish out to the animals to have a straightener.

Believe it or not, but RT is the Russian state-controlled media outlet, so this is like the BBC coming out and saying there are brown bears cutting about Moskovsky Zoopark with machetes and a flamethrower. It isn't just that tangerine coloured shit-gibbon Trump who spouts fake news...